Wikipedia Reflection

While working on the Wikipedia project, I did my best to incorporate the most information I could into my section. As I was writing about Literacy in the classroom, and being a former education major, I felt I had a strong knowledge base of how classrooms work and how multimodality needs to be incorporated into the classrooms. I worked to present the information I found through Gunther Kress' book Literacy in the New Media Age to present clear information on the changes of the classroom and the incorporation of technology.

While working on the editing process, I just worked through my section making sure that my writing was clear. I wanted the information to be simple, not containing any unknown terminology. Wikipedia is for all people and I wanted my writing to be understandable by everyone, not just a specific audience. I went through my section, defining any unknown terms, and clarifying any vague concepts. Finally, I just focused on the grammar and punctuation, making sure my presentation was acceptable.

Throughout the writing and editing process, I did struggle in writing for a general audience. Most of the writing I do is for classroom assignments and for a teacher, who has a background information on my topic. Writing for an audience that doesn't know about multimodality meant that I could leave no vague terms or not explain a concept.

Mostly I did enjoy the writing process. I think I learned more about how to focus my writing to a general audience rather than a specific one. I think that my section of the wikipedia article is clear and coherent.

Editing Analysis: April O'Neil of Teenange Mutant Ninja Turtles

When editing the April O'Neil article, my goal was to eliminate incorrent grammar and superfluous wording, among other things. The article is pretty poorly written, but still provided good information. Large chunks were written in passive voice, adding unnecessary wording and creating extremely awkward sentences. I did my best to rephrase them, while still keeping the same meaning in the sentences. I stuck with Bazerman's rules of intertextuality, trying to put the article in to clear understandable words. Some of the sections were very "professionally" written, like someone writing a research paper, while other parts were lax in grammar, punctuation, and cohesion. I did my best to fix most of them.

Other areas of the section were too over simplified. April O'Neil's relationship with Casey Jones and her job  as a reporter were key plot lines to various incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. Sections about her and Jones' relationship were glossed over, usually only a few sentences, while details of her job as a reporter were minute details or not expanded upon.

In fixing and/or pointing out these errors I hope I clarified what was confusing and removed the poor grammar and passive voice from most of the article. I think the article has good potential but with its poor writing, I don't think it will  appeal to most people.

Wikipedia Comparison

Part I

In comparing the biographies of Marshall McLuhan and Michelle Citron, I noticed very clear differences. In McLuhan's biography, there was more information. about McLuhan himself, as well as his published works. After the brief biography, his life is then categorized by his books, when they were published, and what they were about. The page was a complete timeline of information from his birth to his death, and it covered the main points and achievements of McLuhan's life. In contrast, Michelle Citron's page was much shorter, and not complete. Citron's biography was brief, her "early years" section only two lines, and her "career" section only two paragraphs. While there was key information in these paragraphs, I feel that there could definitely be more to them. The rest of her page is separated into various graphs, listing her filmography--only a partial list-- and section on her published books. There was also no picture, so I don't even know what she looks like. The page feels incomplete. There must be more than two sentences worth about her early years, there must be more information about her career. When compared to McLuhan's page, Citron's falls very short, offering meager amounts of information where there could be more.

When comparing a Wikipedia article to a Stanford Encyclopedia article, I found myself in a similar situation to when comparing Citron and McLuhan. While the the Wiki article has good information about Sedgwick--his life, works, and small facts about him-- The Stanford article is much more in depth. The stanford article covers his life, his religious upbringing and philosophies, as well as his political views, workings, and more. Each section is long, containing multiple paragraphs about various parts of his life and work.

Part II
The featured article I chose, about the beagle, is very long, providing information of the history, varieties, and descriptions of the dog as a breed. When comparing it to the FA criteria, it falls well within the boundaries. The article is from a neutral point of view, offering no opinions or original research. The history seems well researched, going back to the 18th century. The information is categorized in a clear manner, and there is no awkward jumping from one time to another. The lead is clear, concise and well written, the article has pictures and multiple hyper links to other pages, and summarizes clearly, without unnecessary tangents. Overall I think the article is complete, follows the FA criteria to a T, and is well written.

This or That? A Comparison of Wikipedia articles

The two articles I chose to examine were both related to public discourse, but as far apart as possible from each other in terms of completion and quality. 

The first article I chose was the page titled “Private Sphere.” As it is related to my class and my class research, I thought it might have some interesting information. However, the page only provided me two paragraphs of information on the private sphere. I have a brief definition of what the private sphere is, as well as an example, and an idea about the private sphere from a philosopher. Despite the little amount of information, it seemed fairly solid and there was no contradiction. Many of the words in the paragraphs were hyper linked to other wiki pages that were useful and could expand more on rhetorical spheres and unknown terms. The information all came from one source, a book by a man name Jürgen Habermas. As there was no information on the author, nor research from any other source, and possibility of this article being a reliable source were slim. However, Wikipedia did mark the article as incomplete so there is a chance for it to be finished and filled with more than one reliable source.

The second artcile I chose was a biography of Martin Heidigger, a philosopher and author. The page is extensive, providing information about Heidigger's early years, his books, his influences his philosophies on religion, and even his associations with Nazism in World War II. There are multiple photos with small bit of corroborating information below to support the information given in the article. Similar to the article on the private sphere, this page had many hyper-links to lead to other pages, and the information was solid and did not contradict itself. Unlike the first article, however, the page on Heidigger had a much more rounded set of sources. The information on the Wikipedia page came from over one hundred sources, many of which were journals, books by well accredited authors, and reliable web sites. The page seemed complete in its entirety and looked to be quite a reliable source of information.

 While Wikipedia does have some unreliable pages, there are others that can prove useful. I think the usefulness of a Wiki page depends entirely on its number of legitimate sources, such as known authors and journal publications.

Time in the News Media

Since the formation and defining of rhetoric, time has always played a crucial part in its creation. Time was used to define various types of speeches, such as epideictic speeches and reports, and is even used in measuring speech patterns. However, Killingsworth states that time in rhetoric is more than just determining what speech types to use, but also for determining what arguments to use and when.
Killingsworth mentions kairos and exigence, kairos being the use of the right argument, and exigence being the idea that topics become urgent at certain points in time. He says that the use of both is determined by the audience and speaker making the mutual decision that a certain moment is the right moment for urgency. I agree with Killingsworth's idea. Both the speaker and the audience must determine the correct moment for urgency, otherwise, there would be a failure in discourse. If the moment is not right, the audience might not find information important, or the speaker will be giving information already known to the audience. Without that mutual decision, there is no discourse.
Killingsworth states that news media use the appeal to time to create value in change. The audience wants to know what is new, thus presenting "news" with its name and purpose. The news is a 24/7 cycle, with new material being discovered and released by the seconds. Without the appeal to time, and what is "new" there is no exchange of information between the speaker and the audience.
From what I gathered at first reading Killingworth's portion on news and time, my first thought was that "without time, there is no news". I believe that in a way that is true. Information is released constantly, but without an appeal to time, there is no way to determine the old news from the new news on a wide scale. If there is no appeal to time, there is no constant need to know what has changed.

In Class Activity 12/14

Question 2:
In the New Yorker's article "Why Cheney and Boehner Don't Think that Obama is Brave", I believe there is a creation of simulated argument. The author presents arguments from both Boehner and Cheney about why Obama should not be in office, but there is no agreement in argument. Boehner and Cheney each have their own ideas. Also, there was no combative argument from members of the Democratic Party in the article. There is no defense for President Obama and therefore no actual argument, rather a statement of opinions from one biased party about another biased party.

Question 3:
Dick Cheney quite obviously violates the usage rule when he is quoted saying "I think the President’s performance, by my standards, in the international arena, the Middle East and so forth, is worse than many of my friends and colleagues deem his domestic policies.” His use of the phrase "by my standards" is vague, unclear, and biased through his opinion. There is no set standards listed to evaluate the performance of the President, so Cheney's use of "by my standards" is not only biased and vague, it is incomparable to anything that might be non-biased.

Question 4:
I don't believe the article I chose has any ideographs in the text. While it does have many key terms with which most of the audience would be familiar, there are no terms acting to inspire familiar association of the audience or that carries ideological assumptions.

Analysis of My Editing Process

While I was editing Fish's article, my first goal was to clear up any vagueness. Multiple times, Fish alludes to previous subjects, but with vague wording such as "this" and "it". I felt that this could lead to misunderstanding as defined by Kaufer. I thought that not specifying what Fish was refering to created a Level 1 misunderstanding. The reader would not properly understand the intended reference of certain statements. By changing wording to specify which previous argument Fish was trying to use, the content was clarified and easier to understand.
I also wanted to make sure Fish used proper grammar and punctuation. Multiple sentences began with conjunctions, sentences ended in prepositions, and unnecessary wording. Using Style's methods of grammar, I removed any improper grammar usage. I also removed any unnecessary pieces of information, such as Fish's descriptions of Maloney and Moore.

Binge Drinking: What College Students and Parents Need to Know

One of the popular methods of social interaction among college students is binge drinking, the act of consuming excessive amounts of alcohol at regular intervals. College life presents students with multiple opportunities to party and drink. While all drinking can be dangerous, binge drinking can be even more harmful to your body and to those around you. Throughout this blog, I will explain exactly what binge drinking is, what behaviors it can lead to and consequences it has, as well as what can be done to help someone who suffers from binge drinking.

Binge Drinking: What is it?

Binge drinking, as defined in a study by Dr. Henry Wechsler, is when a man consumes five or more drinks, and woman four or more drinks in a period of roughly two hours (922).  When a person binge drinks, his/her blood alcohol concentration is at or above 0.08 grams percent, which is the legal limit. Currently, it is the most common form of excessive alcohol consumption, with about one in six adults claiming to binge drink at least four times a month. It is most common in adults between the ages of 18 and 34 (CDC).

Who is most likely to binge drink?

In Wechsler's study, 44 percent of those surveyed fell under the classification of “binge drinker”. Of that percentage, half were male and 39 percent were female. One of the most significant determinants of binging was a person’s social status in college. A large number of men who qualified as binge drinkers were white male students who had a grade average of a B or lower. Also, student who are "part of campus life" such as living in dormitories, having multiple friends, and having roommates could increase one's chances of binge drinking (Wechsler, 923). As well as engaging in campus life, students who engaged in risky behaviors also showed higher risk for binging. Activities that qualified as risky included smoking marijuana, having multiple sexual partners, and smoking cigarettes (Wechsler, 923).

Consequences of binge drinking

Binge drinking is linked to and can be the cause of multiple health problems. Alcohol poisoning, liver damage, neurological damage, heart disease and stroke have all been linked as possible results to heavy drinking. Excess drinking can also result in the shutdown of the body’s organs and result in death (CDC).
One such incident occurred at Cornell University in New York. Sophomore, George Desdunes was pledging a fraternity, and was told to ingest large amounts of alcohol during an induction ritual. He drank so much alcohol that he vomited and eventually passed out. He was found dead the next morning. An autopsy revealed that Desdunes’ blood alcohol concentration was four times that of the legal limit (Kaminer). Desdunes’ death is not the only one caused by binge drinking. In fact, in a report from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, it was reported that roughly 1700 college students died from binge drinking in 2011(Lucier).
As well as resulting in personal bodily harm, binge drinking can also lead to harming other and engaging in criminal acts. Hundreds of thousands of people are injured, assaulted, or sexually abused by other students who have been drinking. Over 3 million college students who binge drink also drive while intoxicated, and about 5 percent of incidences involving college binge drinking lead to police involvement (College Drinking).

Preventing Binge Drinking

Wechsler’s study showed a huge correlation in binge drinking and engaging in college activities. However, colleges cannot simly cut out all the campus acivities and organizations that might lead to a higher risk of binge drinking. In fact the risks will always be present, but students and parents can work to prevent binge drinking. Methods for preventing binge drinking is for parents to speak with their children about drinking, to remain involved in their lives as they proceed to college, and to research campus alcohol policies. Student who suffer from alcoholism and binge drinking can usually cind resources on their college campuses, such as counseling and medical help.

Works Cited 

Analytical reflection 

Fake It 'Til You Make It: Short Assignment 2

When Alan Sokal wrote his article "Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity", he did so with the intention of fooling scientific intellectual and editors. His article did fool the editors and was published in a major science magazine. I believe Sokal's article passed as a legitimate because of the fact that in he wrote about a new theory, and the fact that he wrote confidently and with support from the writings of other authors and physicists.

In his article, Sokal states that he wanted to take a deeper look into the analyses of other physicist and their work to develop new theories that could have "profound implications for the content of a future postmodern and liberatory science." This was a different approach to the ideas and theories of physics. Also, he wrote in such a manner as to keep math out of the article. This I believe was quite helpful in creating a false article as there were no equations to question and test. This elimination of math also opens his article up to a wider audience, some of whom may not be familiar with the complexities of physics and mathematics. An audience with a smaller knowledge base in physics might have an easier time believing the theories presented in the article.

Throughout the article, there are constant references to quotes and works published by other notable physicists. The references make Sokal's article seem more valid. His intention, I feel, was to bolster his article with so many references, that his work would seem irrefutable. He mentions scientists like Bohr, Einstein, and Newton,who are the fathers of major laws of physics. The idea was that if people believed Sokal's evidence was backed by the fathers of phsyics, then it absolutely had to be true, or at least possible.

Sokal also wrote with confidence. His idea, though fake, was not too far out of the realm of possibility that it was an obvious farce. He presented his work with a purpose, as well as a process of analysis. He went step by step through his outline presenting an idea that was seemingly supported by theory after theory and quote after quote. His wording was careful, so as not to refute previous statements and ensure that his fake idea was presented in a believable manner.

Intertextuality of Radio Revolution

The radio revolution and the use of wireless technology has changed the global society. As author, Kevin Werbach said, if talking on a cell phone weren't better than a landline, billions of people would not be using cellular devices. In Radio Revolution Werbach presents valuable information about the uses and advances of wireless technology as well as possible improvements. Using Bazerman's techniques of intertextual representation, Werbach explains and supports his material for multiple rhetorical audiences.

The science behind wireless technology can be complex and more than a little confusing to one who does not know about airwaves and wireless devices. Werbach explains the basics and importance of wireless technology to multiple audiences by using terminology and phrasing associated with a particular group, and then changing it to explain to another. He first uses the heavy, technical terms of wireless technology as if speaking to experts, then switches his wording from technical jargon to "magic". He elaborates in simple terms so all audiences can understand the message he is trying to convey.

Werbach also uses direct and indirect quotations to support his argument. By citing documents like White House memo and alluding to people of import in the radio community, such as the inventor of radio, Werbach gives his statement a solid, relatable support system. The sources are official, but not so obscure as to limit his information to a certain group.

Blogging Post 1

Bazerman's article on intertextuality explains how texts rely on other texts for reference and support. In his writings, Bazerman defines the six levels of intertextuality as well as six techniques for intertextuality. I found myself quite familiar with Bazerman's techniques through experience. When writing papers, I am often told to use direct and indirect quotation, mention people of importance to the subject, and use specific wording to relate to particular groups of people, along with other techniques to improve my writings.

Bazerman's technique of using recognizable phrasing for specific people or groups, and his technique of using language and forms that are similar to other ways of communicating, I feel are more closely related to Bitzer's idea of rhetorical situation than the other techniques. Bitzer's definition of "rhetorical situation" according to Grant-Davie is "a situation where a speaker or writer sees a need to change reality and sees that the change may be effected through rhetorical discourse" (3). While using direct and indirect quotations, or commenting on a statement, text, etc. are quite valuable techniques, without the ability to communicate with the audience, we would have no way of achieving discourse.

With discourse being an exchange of information, we as speakers and audience members need to be able to communicate with each other.  That requires us to be able to change our wording, medium, and text in order to convey a message. A useful example is a patient speaking to a doctor. A doctor explaining an illness to a patient needs to change his/her language to be understandable. Medical jargon is often confusing to a patient and difficult to follows. By changing the words, and possibly adding a secondary medium (pictures, diagrams, etc.) a doctor can easily explain an illness to a patient with little knowledge about medicine. Similarly, a doctor can change his/her language to sound more knowledgeable when speaking to other doctors or medical officials.

Grant-Davie suggests that instead of asking "who is the audience?" that rhetors ask how discourse can "define and create context for readers" (9). Using the idea of the universal audience allows for varied forms of communication and multiple situations for discourse. The universal audience is an audience of "all reasonable and competent men" (9) according to the Perelman's The New Rhetoric. The universal audience allows for multiple audience allows for a rhetor to engage a more varied audience and for audiences to better understand a speaker and the message he/she is trying to present. There is a bigger opportunity for discourse as more people and groups can exchange information.