When editing the April O'Neil article, my goal was to eliminate incorrent grammar and superfluous wording, among other things. The article is pretty poorly written, but still provided good information. Large chunks were written in passive voice, adding unnecessary wording and creating extremely awkward sentences. I did my best to rephrase them, while still keeping the same meaning in the sentences. I stuck with Bazerman's rules of intertextuality, trying to put the article in to clear understandable words. Some of the sections were very "professionally" written, like someone writing a research paper, while other parts were lax in grammar, punctuation, and cohesion. I did my best to fix most of them.
Other areas of the section were too over simplified. April O'Neil's relationship with Casey Jones and her job as a reporter were key plot lines to various incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. Sections about her and Jones' relationship were glossed over, usually only a few sentences, while details of her job as a reporter were minute details or not expanded upon.
In fixing and/or pointing out these errors I hope I clarified what was confusing and removed the poor grammar and passive voice from most of the article. I think the article has good potential but with its poor writing, I don't think it will appeal to most people.
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